Okay, I'm back

Sorry, had to run to the bathroom for a minute...er, two weeks. Anyhoo, the beautiful Hanae and I have made it to lovely Fargo for an intermitent stop to see the family. And oh, how exciting a place it is! Check out these photos of Hanae catching some big-ass fish at the lake!

Yeah Baby! Check that out! It's her first big fish EVER! That's pure Minnesota NORTHERN PIKE!! You don't catch these beauties anywhere but the U.S. of fukken A!


And her next beauty was this amazing bass. She was a natural out there on the sparkling waters of Round Lake! Of course, there can be only one captain, and that is me. Check out my likeness to Popeye here...


Uh huh. Rugged...stylish...you all wish you could be like this, but it just isn't to be. Is it? Well, enough gloating. I can only take so much of it. Anyway, we had a few lovely days at the lakes, and then it was off to explore the area. And what better way to do it than by taking Hanae (making her go) to the Barnesville Potato Days festival? There we were able to sample some of the finest lefse Minnesota has to offer. Aside from that, Hanae got to ride her first pony...well, aside from the one she usually rides...anyway, here she is.


And that's all the news for now. Today we're going tubing down the Ottertail River with a large cooler full of beer, and hopefully some weed to go with it - speaking of which, Hanae had her first ever taste of the sweet leaf a couple days ago when my friend Dave came to town. Ahh, heaven...

Here's something I'll miss...

After I leave Japan (2 days and counting), I'm definitely going to miss the mainstream media coverage of (should-be) defunct metal bands, like the following. Old metal bands never really die. They just go to Japan, and stay popular until someone tells the locals that they aren't cool anymore. Then they fade away. Anyway, check out this picture for just one of many examples of bands that should've given up years ago...
The first person to correctly identify and name this legendary German metal band gets a prize...who knows, it may even be a wind chime or a knit donkey handbag like the one Satsuki got for her going away present from the Kanoya BOE (see my entry from last week on going away presents)!! Come on you METAL HEADS!! Let's see if you're worth your salt!

Jelly Fish!!

Jesus Christ! I went to Iso Beach with my girl yesterday for a bit of swimming and getting away from the furnace that is Kagoshima in the summer. Little did we know that the place would be teeming with frickin' jellyfish!! The whole beach was covered with the monsters! One look in the water was enough to dissuade anyone without a wet suit from swimming.
You couldn't set a foot in without it being covered in the goo of the slimy gelatinous floating orbs. I've never been so disgusted at a beach. Unfortunately I didn't bring my camera, but here are a couple examples of the kinds we saw there. Sure, they look all nice and fluffy, and you just want to reach out and pat them on their little jelly heads, but beware my friend...these are aggressive little bastards that will kill you as soon as look at you. However, the kids in the water (yes, they were actually going in) were making great sport of scooping them up and chucking them up onto the beach.

It seems that if you turn them upside down, and then grab 'em from the top side, they can't sting you. Hanae and I each had a go at a couple of them. But your hands tend to get stickier than that time when you went full bore fingering the prom queen in the back of your friend Shane's car, so you soon tire of it. Anyway, you can't even imagine the way the beach looked. It was like something out of a 50s horror movie, after the aliens had all been killed...except they haven't all been killed. Have they? No. There are still millions of these savages lurking in Kinko Bay, just waiting for their chance to get their hooks into you. But they ain't gonna get me, cause I am outta here in three more days, baby!!

Pinko freakin' Commie!!!

Or at least that's the name that Steve and I dubbed him when his punk ass first showed at the Kanoya BOE. He's a prick of the first magnitude, and lately he's been trying to throw his weight around with the new ALTs in the office in an effort to kowtow to the office head, and to intimidate the newbies into being good little robots like their Japanese counterparts. Oh, and I should also mention that he is their supervisor, and was mine.

"Punter" or "cunt" are the words I believe the English use for this kind of asshole. I prefer the latter. I prefer the latter most of the time anyway, because it's a good word. It's easy ter spell an' easy ter say, as my good friend Jesco White said of the name "Jesse." And just take a gander at him. He definitely looks the part.

Lately, with the influx of new ALTs on the scene in Kanoya, he's been throwing his weight around more and more. For instance, telling them they need to check in with him if they need to take a piss, etc. The other day (my last in the city), I called and asked him if I could take my successor to buy a car, as it is something of a necessity for people living in Kanoya. He told me to hold on while he asked the office manager. (The ALTs later informed me that he merely put the phone down, and shuffled some papers, but didn't ask anyone any questions.) Then he came back on the phone, and said that since it wasn't a necessity for her(!), she would have to take holiday time to go get one. I said I would come to the City Hall and talk to her about it. 30 minutes later, I arrived there, and he told me she was out buying a cell phone, because he said it was something she needed. Now, I'm not going to argue that a cell phone can be important, but will a cell phone get the girl to work on time?? Yeah.

He's also been a bitch about the apartment that I used to rent. I left, and got her out of the contract, because IRIUS is an evil corporation that will suck the soul right out of you. I got (part of) my cleaning deposit back (they assured me I'd be getting it all back, and I had to fight them to get what I did...), and told her that I would find her a house. Pinko Commie hemmed and hawed about this, but I got her out anyway. Then I found her a kick-ass house that has four times the room, for the exact amount I was paying for a one room hole!

Now the motherfucker wants HER to pay for what IRIUS is claiming they are owed from my living there (That's right, once I told them we wouldn't be continuing in their shitty contract, they decided that extra fees would be assessed...like cleaning fees, etc. - even though they told me when I moved out that it was spotless and wouldn't need a bit of cleaning). I would like to kick him right in the nuts, but unfortunately, I don't have a car, and it's too much of a problem for me to get to Kanoya right now, so please, if anyone living in Kanoya is reading this...

KICK HIM IN THE NUTS FOR ME!!!!

Last hurrah...same as the first hurrah

Well friends, the donkey has had his (possibly) last hiking adventure in Japan for the time being. Last weekend I took the lovely Hanae off to the mountains of Kirishima for a day of hiking and seeing some absolutely stunning scenery. Coincidentally, this was the exact same treck that I first made in Japan, albeit with a different cast of characters. The first time was with a Japanese English teacher and his family. This time was a little more private, and definitely more enjoyable!

We climbed up to Naka-dake with the heat of Kagoshima at our backs, but when we arrived at the top, it was like a beautiful crisp Autumn day. It was such great weather. And we were as high as the clouds, as you can see here!



Here is a view of Takachiho, which is a fitting place for me to end my Japanese journey, since it is the legendary mountain where the gods came down from the heavens and deposited the hapless Japanese race on these beautiful islands. The clouds are casting shadows on the mountain in these pictures.


And here is a view of Sakurajima off in the distance. This is a great place to get a view of the surrounding areas of Kagoshima prefecture. You can see all the way to the East China Sea to the west, and to the Pacific Ocean to the east. On a very clear day, you can sometimes see Yakushima far to the south as well!



All in all, this was the perfect way to spend my last day out hiking in Japan! Afterwards, while driving back we got some absolutely fantastic sunset shots, like this one...

Yansha update!!

Well ladies and gents, I have found a bit of the promised land...or at least the Yansha land!! If you've been following the progress of my journey, you'll know that I have this thing for kick-ass cars, and especially the cars owned by the subculture known as Yankees in Japan. Some of these guys drive absolutely unbelievable vans, a few of which I have pictured here. Come check 'em out!

The top van is a lovely exhibit, found at a used Yansha lot, near the city of Kokubu. Kokubu is known for its aging Yankee population, and for the sheer amount of these amazing vans. They are definitely a dying breed around Japan. It's unfortunate too, but the Yankee youth of today tend to move toward cars that aren't so cumbersome I guess. The van on the right was found in Mizobe, near the Kagoshima Airport. This is a nice piece of work!





Here are some before and after shots of the modern Yankee's vehicle of choice. It was previously a blue and red family truckster-style car, but with a little careful body work, it becomes a friggin' kick ass yansha!! Good work! This is one of Hanae's friends' cars. The driver is a Yankee woman!!
And now friends, for the crowning achievement...This black beast was also spotted in the same use Yansha lot that the first was, but a few months afterward. Anyway, look at the following photgraphs to see how a true yankee dresses up his van!!

FOR GOD'S SAKE!! Look at the WINGS!! From the size of the wings, we can safely assume that this yansha belongs to the alpha male of the local Yankee group. However, if the wings alone didn't tell you that, then why not take a look at the tail lights in the next shot...

No, they don't come any fancier than this, do they? This is obviously a Yankee that takes great pride in his van, and we can see from the side flares that he has an eye for detail!




If you'd like to read more about the Yankee, and his Yansha, you can view a page I created here for a full account. Also, if you have any pictures of these incredible beasts, please send them in, and I'll be more than happy to include them on my website!

Here's what you get for 3 years services...

WHAT THE FUCK?!? Those were the words I wanted to say, but I kept my thoughts to myself, and mumbled a hearty thank you to the Kanoya City Board of Education for their wonderful present. I guess I should've expected a crap present from the office who gave one of my other co-workers a fucking KNIT DONKEY!! But for chrissakes, I've been doing the work my boss is supposed to be doing for the last year - preparing all the new ALTs for their lives in Japan, etc. Things such as setting up bank accounts, going to the real estate agent, buying cars, and whatnot. This year I even had to find a freakin' house for one of the newbies.

Well these things don't go unnoticed by the Kanoya City BOE. Nope, they gave me the most wonderful of presents you can imagine. I got a solid iron WINDCHIME!! Wanna see what it looks like? Here's a replica - not the same one, but very similar.

Yes friends, believe it or not, I got one of these sweet little numbers for all the work I've put in over the last three years. Now I don't wanna seem unthankful, but for fucks sake! This is actually a true symbol of how fucking stingy my office is. While other friends have been known to receive digital cameras, and even video cameras from their offices, we in the Kanoya BOE have to put up with donkeys and bells.

Oh well...what are you gonna do? As for other examples of their ketchi-ness, I'll be writing more on the troubles of one of the new ALTs, Nha-Thy, and her problems with the evil Irius corporation when I have more time. For now, I must prepare to make the final leg of my journey back to the good ol' US of fukken A, so you may not hear from the Donkey for a week or so...unless I get a little free time.