kumbaya...my freakin lord!!

I went CAMPING last weekend!! You don't believe me, do you? I did. Two of my friends and I packed up our stuff (mostly their stuff), loaded up the family truckster, and headed off to the Hoh Rainforest, and the Washington coast for a little R & R. It was the best time I've had in a long time. I really needed to get away from the city for awhile, and hiking/camping was just what I needed to do.

I had no idea that Washington's coast was so friggin' beautiful. The pictures you're about to see sometimes look like a tropical paradise!! The rocks in the ocean (aka Sea Stacks) are amazing to look at, and the sunsets were some of the best I've seen. There were deer all around us, and we had some magic mushrooms to make the mood a little better. It was cold as HELL, but we all had plenty of warm clothes, so there was no whining along the way...except for Jeremy. Well, not really, but there's a funny story about him.

Little did we know that at this time of year, and with the full moon, the tides are unusually high. Freakishly high. Much of our hike was along the beach, with jaunts up and into the rain forest when there was no beach to take. But the rain forest is up on cliffs above, so we had no way of getting up there, short of climbing a rock wall. The parts of the trail that are actually in the forest are facilitated with ropes and somtimes ladders to allow a person to climb the cliffs.

Anyway, with the tide so far in, we had to basically run from the waves nearly the whole time spent on the beach. We would run single file while the waves were going out, to the nearest rock, tree, or whatever was handy to step on. Then the waves would come in, recede, and we would run to the next rock, tree, etc.

One time, Jeremy thought he was running onto a pile of rocks, when he was actually to find out that his "pile of rocks" was actually just the remainder of a landslide, and was really a mucky gelatinous mass (resembling a pile of rocks). His leg sank in up to his calf, and he lost his shoe in the mud. I, being the hero of the day, took it upon myself to get his shoe. With the waves coming in, it took me nearly 10 minutes to fish the fucker out of there, but I finally got it.

When we reached our supposed destination, we found it to be already staked out by other campers, so we had to walk down the beach, nearly a mile to the next campsite. This time we were in luck.


After setting up camp and eating dinner, we found ourselves with not much to do, about 40 magic mushrooms, and a lot of time on our hands. We made a tea, put 20 mushrooms in it, and drank up. After about 40 minutes, we realized that nothing was happening, so we added another 20 mushrooms to the mix. Unfortunately, the spell seems to have worn off these particular magic mushrooms, and we ended our night without having a single hallucination between us.

The next day, our hike out was no less of a struggle. The tide was higher, and this time we had to crawl under trees, over rocks, and through places we never should have gone. I felt a little like Shackleton, or the Swiss Family Robinson. It was such a blast trying to get around the waves while keeping dry! We actually had to stop for about three hours because the waves were so freakin' high, there was no place to go!

By the time we ended our two-day trek, it was 6:00 pm, and pitch black. We had to use head lamps for the last hour to light our way back to the car.

Songs that make you pee your pants

You know how when you listen to certain songs, you get goosebumps all over, and when they're finished, you just have to smoke a cigarette even though you don't even smoke? I was just listening to Jimi Hendrix the other day, and on the Band of Gypsies album, there's a tune called "Machine Gun" that makes me fucking weep!! The guitar solo is so goddam hot, I find that I can't stop touching myself in the Danger Zones.

Frank Zappa can also get me in the mood, especially with some of his tunes off of Joe's garage, or Best Band you never heard in your life. Jesus, that guy could play! A personal favorite of mine is "Zombie Woof." The time changes in that song will blow you away...and to hear them do it live is something that has to be heard (and probably actually seen) to be believed.

Another couple of songs that do almost the same thing to me are Steely Dan's "Kid Charlemagne" and "Josie." The songs are so good, and the chord progressions (in Josie in particular) are absolutely fantastic. Not to mention the solos in both of them. Actually, I could probably name a bunch more of their songs that do that to me..."Dr. Wu" also comes to mind.

When I was younger, entire albums could do it to me...such as the critical Metallica album, Master of Puppets. The first time I heard the album, my brother was playing it in his bedroom, and I just went fucking nuts. I think that album changed my destiny, because I knew at that moment that my future involved me being a rock god, and look at me now! For chrissakes, it's all come true for me, just because I listened to that one album!

So let's here from you. I want to know some interesting songs or albums that make you cream in your pants. And nothing by the Petshop Boys, or I'll crush you like a bug (Tsar, you know I'm talking to YOU)! I'll allow Culture Club though. Come on all you people who normally just lurk here. I want some genuine answerers to this, because I want to listen to some new music, goddammit! And honestly, I don't really care what genre of music it is, or whether I know you or not, I just want to hear your opinions, so let 'em rip!