Yankees and Yanshas

Man, I have got to find out where they hang out! I need some pictures of these guys and their fucking cars before I get out of here. I've tried hanging out at all the known Yankee hideouts, but they seem to be eluding me. It's like they know I'm coming, and they sneak away with their dragon-winged vans just before I arrive. The only solution I can think of is to get in with one of the lesser Yankees, the Yankee wannabes as it were, and get him to introduce me around the gang...after I prove myself to them, that is.

I guess the first thing I have to do is to get a wig, die the hair orange, and then shave a straight up and down pattern into my eyebrows, after carefully plucking them so they're nice and thin. Then I'll have to go to the Home Center to buy myself some baggy work pants, probably a variety of colors...purple, pink, anything gay-looking. After that, I'll have to renounce all my Gaijin friends, since Yankees don't hang out with Gaijin. And yes, I'll have to stop speaking any English, because a Yankee by definition doesn't speak any of that foreign bullshit!

If I can pass myself off as one of their kind, I think I can break into the inner ring, and possibly even become their Yankee leader. I'll institute a Yankee Pride day, and we'll have a parade down the main street of Kanoya. We'll have Yankee reunions at Joyfull, and that fucking wench better bring our Chicken Nanban in a goddam hurry, because we're fucking YANKEES for chrissakes! And then, when we're riding high, I can finally get a goddam picture of one of their elusive Yansha!! The Yansha, if properly assembled is one of the most amazing sights of Japan, but they're rare to see in the daytime, and even rarer in the boonies of Kagoshima. I have a couple of pictures at my homepage, but I need more, More, MORE!!

If you don't hear from me, it means I've infiltrated their gang (or died trying), so keep looking at the Random Pics section of my homepage for updates. I'll get 'em in the end...