Breaking the shogakkusei

If you're not already out to get the Donkey, this post may cause you to pick up your gun and come lookin'. But Spooky D don't go down easy friend, so watch yourself...and take a look at the horror below.

I'm not sure what the appropriate amount of times to tell kids "DON'T TOUCH ME" is, but I would say that a year's worth of saying it would probably be in the "enough" category. Anyway, those of you who know me, already know that I am as bald as the tires on Steve's car. This, coupled with the fact that when it's 90 degrees outside, I sweat profusely, makes for a cranky Donkey. The Donkey doesn't like to be touched on the head by little kids - especially when sweat is running off his head like it's rainin'. Kids, however, love to touch the Donkey on his head.

Now, on this particular occasion, the Donkey, having told the children all day to stop touching him, was in a foul mood. It was also a little boy's birthday. The little boy tells the Donkey he's going to touch him on the head, because it's his birthday. The Donkey tells the little boy that he wouldn't do that if he were him, because he might come back missing some fingers. Let the records show that the Donkey sternly warned him. The little boy disregarded the Donkey's warning, and proceded to sneak up behind him a couple minutes later and rub his filthy little boy hands all over the Donkey's sweaty melon.

Dude, the Donkey was pissed. Livid. Ready to fuck some shit up. But he calmly walked over to the Little boy and twisted the little boy's arm in a chicken hold that not even Hulk Hogan could've gotten out of, and then he asks the (now screaming) little boy, "Do you understand what the Donkey means when he says that he doesn't want to be touched?" The (screaming and crying) little boy said (screamed) "YES!" And the Donkey says "Good, happy birthday." and walks out of the classroom.

Oh dear reader, you have never seen a more smiley Spookydonkey than on that grand day. That little boy was such a wuss. I totally kicked that little boy's ass! I thought second graders were supposed to be tougher than that...