Family Mart Cartman

I can't say when it happened, because I don't know, but dear readers, you'll be sad to hear that Family Mart Cartman no longer works at Family Mart! That's right, the lovable pudgy cross between Herve Villechaize (Tattoo from Fantasy Island) and a Japanese Eric Cartman has gone on to greener fields somewhere...hopefully in a different town. Not that Kihoku is bad, but I think Family Mart Cartman could probably get acting jobs in Tokyo or Osaka if he played his cards right.

For those of you who don't know, he kind of has the face and (upper) body of Tattoo, but his voice is all Eric Cartman, which makes for an interesting visit to the Family Mart. He was a boisterous guy, always ready for a scrap with some young buck. Yes, that was the Family Mart Cartman of yesterday. Today, he may be polishing his skills on the casting room couch as he polishes the knob of Beat Takeshi, preparing for his next Battle Royale film. Now wouldn't that be fantastic? Battle Royale III, the wrath of Family Mart Cartman!! I bet it would at least be better than the new Star Wars III, Revenge of the Shit...er Sith.

Family Mart Cartman...may god be with you brother.