PORN!!

Since my arrival in Japan, I've downloaded some porn. That's putting it mildly. I've downloaded a fucking shitload of porn. That's better. Now, I was hoping to give it to my successor, but she seems like a nice girl, and I don't want to freak her out by offering her 16 cds full of downloaded porn. So here is my offer. I will send my porn to the first person who asks me for it, postage paid. All you have to do is promise it a good home, and watch each cd at least once a month. And stroke it. The porn, that is. Caress the cds lovingly before and after each use. My god, does anyone read this? Where are all the public outcries? Where's Billy Graham when I need him most? Doesn't anyone realize that this is a call for help?

Good day.

Spooky Donkey